Today, I want to talk about the diabetes of the brain — depression — and its effect on leadership.  It’s something I know a lot about, having struggled with mood issues most of my life.

Started as a Young’un

I know the roots of my depression.  It started in childhood with a father that I was deathly afraid of.  Even writing about him sparks anxiety.  Being afraid all the time does something to your brain; it re-wires it.  Also, when you’re a kid and you’re that much afraid of a parent, you assume there must be something wrong with you.  Other kids don’t seem to feel that same kind of fear.  It must be you.  That constant sense of “there’s something wrong with me” also helps wire your brain in a way that’s not going to help you much as an adult.

This childhood trauma left me with a lifelong struggle with self-esteem, anxiety, and depression.  Very few people who interact with me would guess how much of a struggle this is.  I often have heard, “You bring so much joy to the office,” or “You’re so funny.”   When you struggle with mood issues for so much of your life, you get to be really good at faking it.

Many excellent leaders have dealt with depression.  One of my favorites is Winston Churchill, who often referred to his “black dog.”  His drinking was likely a form of self-medication.  But when his country needed his strength and energy, when the free world needed his strength and energy, he came through.

Alcohol Isn’t Really the Answer…

As corporate leaders, we can do the same.  (I don’t recommend the same style of self-medication…)  But don’t let your mood issues keep you from offering all that you have to give.  I like to think of depression as a diabetes of the brain.  Some of the same approaches can be very helpful – exercise, good diet, plenty of sleep.  And of course, taking insulin or anti-depressants appropriately.

Just like diabetics need to watch their blood sugar, we depressives need to also be alert to changes in mood.  I’ll bet you know when you’re headed downward.  You know when too much work has made you numb and flat.  That irritability you feel – you know that’s part of it.

Gentle Beats Tough

Willpower has nothing to do with depression or diabetes.  It’s not a matter of “toughing it out” when you start hitting that depressive trough.  It’s a matter of taking care of yourself, being gentle with yourself, and finding ways to lessen the depth and the length of that trough.

Those ways may be different for every person.  For me, I have a variety of activities – a bike ride, a knitting project, a movie.  And there are plenty of other options – meditation, doing something for someone else, a soothing bath, writing, playing with the dog, learning something new.  But sometimes nothing works except a long nap.

Don’t be afraid of your depression.  Don’t let it stop you from providing your leadership.  Every leader has some kind of issue that makes it a little bit tougher to serve.  These issues give us leaders the opportunity to strengthen our skills in compassion, forbearance, and self-care.

What we leaders perceive as weaknesses can help us be more human to those we lead.  Our vulnerabilities can be an important part of our authenticity.

If this has resonated with you, I urge you to write down three things you can do to help ease your depressive moments.  Write them on a sticky, put them in a list on your phone, tattoo them on your wrist.  Focus on doing these three things regularly.

Not the Totality of Your Reality

Your depression is not the totality of your reality.  You have much to offer the world.