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The Toxic Employee, Part 2

Let’s review – my definition of a toxic employee is someone who gives others physical symptoms when they have to deal with him / her.  Or, people just refuse to deal with him or her.  These people can often be opinionated and highly articulate, making others think they are experts.  They may appear to be highly productive, even though they don’t take direction well.  In the first part, I called her Gertrude.

If you have a Gertrude, here is my advice on how to deal with her.

• Decide to deal with her. Don’t ignore her effect on your team and all the people who have to interact with your team.  Even if the person seems wildly productive, she is dragging down the productivity of everybody else.  And it may be that she does a lot of things that don’t really need to be done.  My Gertrude claimed she had to do certain reports on a regular basis.  I checked the policy she said she was going by, and those reports weren’t in there.  I called the person who wrote the policy to make sure I wasn’t missing an appendix.  When I told Gertrude she should stop, she was highly indignant.

• Get support from HR. Talk to HR and make sure you know your options.  Review with them how and what to document.  Mine offered to role-play with me some of the conversations I needed to have, and that help was invaluable, giving me much more confidence.

• Get support from EAS (Employee Assistance Support, the corporate euphemism for therapists.)  If your company doesn’t have an EAS department, your HR team should have some recommendations. EAS can help you with the psychological games that the toxic employee is about to play with you.  Also keep in mind that your Gertrude can say all kinds of things about you, but you have to keep your mouth shut about her.  Having someone to talk to can be essential for your sense of well-being and emotional balance.

• Get support from your boss. Many toxic employees talk a good game, and are good at sucking up to higher levels.  Since those executives don’t deal with them on a regular basis, they rarely realize how truly toxic the person is.  Make sure your boss is behind you and that you have regular check-ins.

• Do not get support from your team. It’s not their business.  They may realize something is going on, and some of them will support Gertrude even if she irritated them before.  They may feel sorry for her.  They may be nervous for themselves.  But do not discuss the situation with them.  Do not burden them with being part of your support system. In the end, they will respect you for that.  And you may be surprised at how many are cheering for you behind the scenes.

• Give some focus to your needs. This can affect your eating (no appetite or non-stop stress eating), your sleep, and your general mindset.  Find strategies to keep a healthy lifestyle going.  Practice mindfulness techniques to keep your emotions as even as possible.  Exercise – a good walk is a great way to regain your equilibrium.  Play with your pet or someone else’s pet.  Find or resurrect a hobby.

• When Gertrude (or you) moves on, find a way to both rest and celebrate. Have a coffee with your HR and / or EAS support team.  Take a day or two (or week or two) off to decompress.  Plan how you’re going to use the time and energy Gertrude was sucking away from you.  Congratulate yourself for taking the hard road rather than the easy one.